The best laid plans

Well Christmas has come and gone in the Hill household. It was truly awesome, but a whirlwind. I just thought I would blog about some of it mostly to help me remember!

Christmas Eve morning started out with a visit from the repairman. I got a new washing machine this past spring after my old washer and dryer caught on fire (through no fault of my own I am sure). Lately my new washer has been making this weird high pitched squeaking noise during the spin cycle. I am sure this is totally unrelated to the time I tried to wash a king size down comforter in it. Anyway, the only day in December the repair man could come was on Christmas Eve between the hours of 8 and 12. Matt went in to work for a while so the boys and I got up early to wait. It was around 11:50 and we got the call saying we were next on the list so I told Connor to quickly pick up some toys and go play in his room so he would be out of the way. A few minutes later he comes back downstair showing me his hands which were completely covered in blue marker. Seriously it looked like he was wearing gloves. So I took him into the downstairs bathroom to scrub off this masterpiece. While we were in there having a serious talk, little man takes it upon himself to go discover this awesome blue marker. I emerged from the bathroom with Connor to see Hudson scooting down the stairs with his clothes and face completely covered in blue marker. Connor gasped and said, "Mommy, brother did art on his face. It is soooo beautiful!"

I totally freaked because although this marker was "washable" I hadn't even been able to get it all off of Connor's hands and here it was all over my beautiful baby's face....and teeth...and tongue. I stripped Hud down to his diaper and took him up to try and minimize the damage. I had just started brushing his teeth when the doorbell rings. Of course. I run back down the stairs holding a half naked baby who is now foaming blue from the ink/toothpaste combo in his mouth. It seriously looked like he was a rabid blueberry eater with a full foam beard. I open the door and the repair man looks at us in shock. I guess were not what he was expecting. I quickly explained that Hudson chose to eat a marker in the one ten minute window in which we were expecting him to arrive. He just kind of mumbled his sympathy and went to work on the washer.

I went back to work on Hudson, the newest member of the blue man group, while Connor went to work assisting the Tom the repair man. Bless his heart, he was very patient with the endless questions such as, what is that tool for? My daddy has that tool, do you know my daddy? Why is your truck white? Mr. Tom, have you ever put a dog in a washing machine? Would my dog fit? I finally came back down to the laundry room and told Tom I had to take a break from the scrubbing because I had reached my level of frustration and Hud was still blue. Tom looked at me and said, "Ma'm I understand I have three boys myself." Ahhh, we were kindred spirits (I chose to ignore the old lady Ma'm comment).

I took the boys back into the living room to play and allow the poor guy to finish his work in peace. Hudson was having a blast smiling and playing with his bright blue lips and teeth and I resigned myself to the fact that our holiday photos this year might be featuring a smurf. As I was working through my next possible plan of action,watching my blue handed son play with his blue faced brother I heard Tom the repair man whistling a tune from the laundry room. It took me a second to recognize but once I did that little ditty made my morning. The song? Elvis Presley's Blue Christmas.

Oh Tom the Repair Man, we are kindred spirits indeed.

A person's a person no matter how small.....

I woke up the other morning with a song in my head. This is not a regular occurance for me, usually I wake up with my mind racing through the day ahead, getting the kids up and ready and forcing myself into a good mood in order to face 22 nine year olds. I am not a happy morning person :)

But not on this particular day, I went to bed the night before thinking about a friend who is very dear to me and who is hurting. She has been on a journey for several years now, hoping to find her way into motherhood. This journey has been rough and slow. Something that is natural and easy for a lot of people is not for her and as her friend there is nothing I can do to make that better.

She got good news a few weeks ago and we rejoiced thinking that this was finally the baby she and her husband have been praying for. They found out last week though that it wasn't going to be and that their tiny little one had not made it. My heart is broken for her and it is so hard to understand when I know she would be the most wonderful mother. I am struggling to be the best friend I can be to her, when I don't have the words to comfort her and I certainly don't have answers.

Which now brings me to that song in my head that early morning. It is an old favorite of mine, Blessed be your name, by Matt Redman. It is a song that I have heard countless times but on this particular morning the lyrics stood out to me like a neon sign. The chorus says, "You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." It really struck me, why this particular song was in my head and what it was truly saying. My sweet friend, throughout this horrible and painful journey that has been full of frustration and disappointment has never stopped praising His name. She has had something she desperately wanted taken away, again. But she has shown patience and grace in a way that I don't think I ever could and she hasn't ever stopped leaning on God to get them through. She is a wonderful example to me of taking a situation that could have easily made her lash out at God and doubt his grace and yet she is still praising his name.

I wish that this week, this month, this year had gone differently for her but I know (thanks to her example) that God has a plan for her and I believe that plan includes a baby. But in the meantime I hope she knows that her struggles and pain are not in vain. She is a walking testimony to putting her faith in exactly the right place and I am lucky to have her as a friend.

Stuart and his dog Stuart

I have often said that Connor might have been a great second child, strictly because if he was the baby of the family then as soon as he was old enough to play his older brother would be ready for him. Connor has been waiting, both patiently and not, for Hudson to be an active participant in his life. It has not been an easy wait. We are blessed with a big brother that loves his baby, he is sometimes over excited and too rough but the bottom line is he thinks Hudson is his best friend in the world and he can't wait to share his adventures with him.

Some of you might be familiar with Stuart the Dog. If you are new to our family let me explain. Unlike my invisible son Kenny, Connor IS Stuart the dog. Stuart is his alter ego, if you will. Stuart is a sweet dog, likes to do tricks and wags his tail a lot. He has a very sweet little high pitched woof. Stuart is a very important and colorful part of our life.

Yesterday, Stuart was playing in the living room, doing his usual Stuart thing. He throws things and then fetches them, rolls around and asks for his tummy to be scratched all the while sharing his trademark, "woof". Hudson was just doing his own thing, taking in the scene of his brother as a dog. Connor went over to Hud and licked his face and said, woof. All of a sudden we heard a tiny little, "woof woof" come out of Hudson's mouth. It was as if time stood still. Connor literally gasped dramatically and clutched his chest. "Momma! Did you hear him woof woof?" "Oh my goodness! It's little Stuart! He's just like me Mommy. My brother is just like me!"

By now, I had tears in my eyes because Connor's joy was so overwhelming. That moment moved me in a profound way because I hadn't realized how much it would mean to Connor to have someone really be a part of his little world. Hudson just smiled up at him not even realizing that by repeating those two little words he had given his brother probably the greatest gift of his short life. At that moment Connor's best friend got him on a level that no one else had. I realize that Hudson doesn't have a clue yet what it means to live in a crazy mixed up imaginary world, but at that moment it didn't matter. He was Little Stuart.

We have been talking lately about gifts you can give people that aren't things you can buy or even touch, things like friendship, love, compassion. I know that Connor has a personality that sometimes other kids and adults might not be able to appreciate. So that one small moment for him was such a gift, he felt like someone that he loved more than anything could get board the Stuart the Dog bandwagon and he likes having the company. Connor immediately set about teaching Little Stuart the tricks of the trade, licking faces, hanging your head out of a car window and begging for food. He then hooked him up to a leash for a walk.

I hope that my boys are always best friends in the future, even if they have different interests and personalities. I am sure we have days ahead for us of disagreements and arguing, but when those days come I hope I can always think back to this moment of Stuart and Little Stuart woofing away to each other like they were the only two dogs in the world.

Mary, mother of God......

Well this time of year is so busy and I feel like I am falling behind on blogging. Hopefully this post will make up for it :)

As most of you know my Granny has been staying with us over the last few weeks and taking care of Hudson during the day. It has been amazing, but we have had a few moments where it seemed like Connor might have been feeling a little left out of the Granny time. So my mom bought Connor this really neat interactive nativity set and it became his and Granny's "thing". The premise of the set is that for seven days, you open a present a day and inside each present is a piece or character of the nativity. After opening each gift you read a little five minute lesson on that character and place it in the nativity. Easy enough, right?

Well after the first two days we had unwrapped Gabriel, the messenger angel and Mary. Connor had apparently been listening REALLY well to the stories because today I observed the following:

Connor was frolicking around our living room with a walkie talkie yelling," Attention, attention, I am Gabwel, the messenger and I have a message! I am looking for Mawy, I have a message!" He then ran over to his little brother who was, as usual, minding his own business. He grabbed Hudson by the fat little cheeks and put about one inch of space between their faces. He then said to him in an extremely loud voice, "Mawy, I'm Gabwel and I have a message for you! You're going to have a baby in your tummy! You are going to have a Jesus in there!"

Now at this point, I really shouldn't be surprised but I still was and here comes the best part. Still clutching his brother's face, he says, "And Mawy, you don't even have a husband!" After that pronouncement I asked him to please release the apparently hard of hearing virgin Mary's face and he flitted away in a very angelic way to deliver his good tidings to someone else.

Interestingly enough, this is not the first time he has used his baby brother as an unwilling prop in a highly dramatic biblical reenactment. I flash back to the summer production starring Connor as Moses and Hudson as a tiny Pharoah, in which Connor demanded that his brother, "let my people go or your water will turn to blood!" What can I say, the kid loves the bible drama.

Who knows what the future holds, after all there are still more nativity boxes to be opened. I can almost picture Connor as a quick change artist performing every part of a live nativity staged in our front yard. What, you are probably wondering, did his father say about this little performance? I heard Matt in the background mutter, "Oh good Lord." Yes Matt, I think that is exactly the point.

Tis the Season!

Well the holidays are in full swing here in the Hill house. We decided last year to retire the prelit tree and venture into the world of "real" Christmas trees. My dad, who considers himself to be a connoisseur of real trees volunteered to take Connor to pick one out for our house. Fine by me! I warned my dad that the expectations were extremely high and Connor was determined to pick out "the most perfect and beautiful tree God ever made." No pressure or anything. My dad had the unenviable task of keeping him reigned in so we didn't end up with a tree more fitting for the center of a skating rink!

My dad updated me several times during the Christmas tree journey. First he let me know that Connor had ran through the tree lot hugging every tree he could get his arms around. He was just so overcome with joy he had to hug it out with as many trees as possible. That sounded about right. Then he proceeded to announce to every person he came across that those trees smelled just like Christmas and isn't that wonderful? Hmm, we never got that kind of response from our 7 foot prelit Sam's Club special.

They finally made it home with a huge and beautiful Noble Fir, which sounds really majestic and a three year old with a face full of sap, which was not so majestic. I have to admit that getting a real Christmas tree has required me to step out of my comfort zone, they are messy, needy and imperfect. And yes Virginia, I do realize the irony in the fact that I sent my son to school today in ecofriendly, vegan shoes and yet also contributed to the murder of a living tree which further worsens deforestation on our planet. But here is the bottom line: I don't really care. That stupid tree really does smell just like Christmas and I am once again learning about joy through my son's example. That makes it worth it.

Counting my blessings

Tonight is "Thanksgiving Eve" and since I don't do any actual cooking for the big meal, I have some time to reflect on what my family is giving thanks for this year. I've noticed a lot of my facebook friends have been listing one thing a day that they are thankful for all month, but since I am an incurable procrastinator I am listing mine all together at pretty much the last possible minute.

I am feeling pretty sentimental today so bear with me :)

I am so thankful for my husband. He is a man that has survived both cancer and living with me and still manages to keep a smile on his face :) He has faced challenges that I can't even imagine and doesn't share his story much because he worries that people will feel sorry for him. I share his story because I am proud of him and of what he has accomplished. I am lucky to have him because he makes up for my short comings in so many ways. He has patience when I don't and he has a logical side that I envy whenever my mind seems to be too flighty for the real world. He loves me enough to forget that I had bangs as thick as a down comforter when we were seat mates in the sixth grade. He loves me enough to know immediately that when I am making Malt-o-meal for dinner, it has been a bad day. I love most of all that he gets my sense of humor and even finds it funny once in a while. He has seen me at my sickest, my meanest and my most scared and he loves me.

I am thankful for my boys. They are the children we never knew that we could have. Pregnancy is rarely a guarantee for anyone and I know that it was most definitely an uncertainty in a lot of people's minds for us. Getting pregnant was a blessing, being pregnant and keeping myself and a baby healthy was a daunting and dangerous journey for me. Twice. I am thankful for medical advancements that made it even possible because not too many years ago it would not have been. I am thankful for not just one but two healthy boys and the fact that I got them here and am still all in one piece myself. Thankful. I am blessed to have a mom that was a wonderful example to me of how to raise your family and enjoy them at the same time.

Before I was a mom I had experienced happiness in my life, a lot of it. But once these two little men entered the scene I realized something I had not truly experienced before, Joy. Every smile I get to witness, every time a sweet boy runs to me with his arms out and every time I get to hold them while they sleep, I am experiencing God's grace in the most tangible way and I am so thankful.

I am thankful for our every day life. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am thankful that our house is almost always full of laughter, although most of this comes from laughing at ourselves :) I have the funniest family on the planet and they are constantly teaching me through example that if we can laugh at a problem, it seems easier to solve. Our life is not a perfect one and there are moments on a daily basis when I find myself frustrated, stressed or upset about something that at that one moment seems to be the most critical thing in the world. But, those moments are part of our story as well and so I am also thankful for them. I am thankful for a boy that has a heart as big as his imagination, who is so proud of his baby brother that he wants to shout it out to every stranger we meet and advertise his affection with matching shirts. I am thankful for a little boy that has fallen into the role of baby of our family with an open mouth, open arms and a perma-smile. He is a little guy that loves music in his soul and is already a loyal companion for his big brother. I am thankful for the glimpses of their dad that I get to see in both of them.

I just finished reading a great book called, Have a Little Faith. In it the author is interviewing an aging man of God in order to prepare for his eulogy. He asks the Rabbi if he has discovered the secret to happiness and the Rabbi says yes. He says the key to happiness is simple, be satisfied and be grateful. That's it. Today I am both.

Thanksgiving Part 1

This month is a great time to focus on what we are thankful for in our lives. Our blessings are so abundant sometimes it is hard to believe. I have to admit though that I can easily fall into the trap of focusing on what we don't have or what isn't quite the way I would like it to be. It is easy to get caught up in the material world and lose sight of the things that truly matter. I realize that between Matt and I, all the grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, and uncles, that there is probably nothing in this world that our boys will want for. They will probably never have to experience true hardship and that is a wonderful thing but it also had me a little worried. I don't want to have children who are so self focused that they don' t realize the hurt and pain of others in the world. So enter into the Hill Family our newest member: Nilo.

We decided to sponsor Nilo in the hope that we could be showing and teaching our boys compassion and empathy through our example. I selected Nilo in particular because not only is he adorable but he is the same age as Connor and I thought that would make him easier to relate to. We decided to talk about him a little before we formally "introduced" his photo. Needless to say, Connor was very excited about this little boy.

I tried to explain where Africa is in relation to where we live and how it is very far away. After listening to my big speel about geography Connor said, "So it's like Garland right?" Um, not quite. We talked about how Nilo's village is different than our city and how they live in a different way than us because they don't have things like running water or television. Connor was fascinated by this discussion, especially the part where Nilo likes to kick a soccer ball around the village, just like Connor.

Finally, Matt and I unveiled Nilo's photo. Connor's first reaction."Why is he black?" I was horrified! I couldn't believe that I had raised a tiny racist! Connor has African American friends so I brought them up and he said, "No Mommy, they are brown." That's when I realized that we just had some color confusion, however I was determined to "fix" this problem. I then, in typical Melissa fashion, overthought, worried, and researched the issue. I got a couple of books that explained to kids why we are all different colors. They were great and I personally learned a lot from them. After our learning time though, I had Connor so confused that he came to the conclusion that he and his brother were from different racial backgrounds. Great. I am sure he shared at Sunday school that although he was "cweam colored" his brother was "light brown". We just decided to drop the topic and move on to the compassion and empathy.

We love having Nilo in our family's life. We pray for him every night and there is rarely a time when Connor kicks the soccer ball around that he doesn't wonder if Nilo is doing the same thing. He likes to imagine what Nilo's life is like and if they like to do the same kind of three year old things. I think it is so important for Connor to know that there are so many people in the world that are less fortunate than us and I think slowly, but surely he is catching on. It is hard for him to fathom that Nilo doesn't have a McDonalds or "Chunky Cheese" but he is starting to get it and I hope it makes him grateful for all we have. Sometimes his imagination gets away from him, as it is prone to do, and currently he is hoping that Nilo has a pet lion cub and sometimes gets to ride a zebra if he can get his hands on one. As I said we are still three.

I hope Nilo is a part of our lives for a long time to come. He is a blessing that we were not expecting but one that we now greatly value. Matt says he likes to imagine our letter and picture arriving in Mozambique and Nilo opening that package and exclaiming, "Why are they white?"

We like to think a three year old is still a three year old no matter where you live.

Road Trippin'

Last weekend we took the boys on a quick roadtrip to Houston for their cousin Eliza's first birthday. We decided to drive down with my mom on Friday night and come back on Saturday night. This plan was devised with the foolish hope that traveling at night would entice Hudson to sleep in the car. Not so much. Let me just preface this with the facts about Hudson as a sleeper. He is amazing, a champ really. This child sleeps a solid 12 hours at night and has multiple naps during the day. He loves sleep like his mommy loves cake. However, this wonderful sleep only occurs in his comfort zones, his crib and his nap mat at the babysitter's. He is completely inflexible with other sleep locations. He does not fall asleep in his carseat or snuggled in his loving parent's arms. He likes his bed, plain and simple. I toss him in there at 7 pm every night and don't hear a peep until morning.

So my elaborate plan of dinner, bath, jammies and a quick four hour car ride obviously blew up in my face. We were not 20 minutes down the road when the crying began. Nothing could make him happy. Not only was he up past his bedtime but I had dared to restrain him in a carseat! His crib was nowhere to be seen! It was a nightmare. I am normally not in the best of moods during a car trip anyway, so to be barrelling down the highway with my mother at the wheel while a 16 month old screamed hysterically was not high up on my list of fun times. The most painful part is that his older brother is now an expert car tripper. He had a movie player and headphones and was in heaven, we could have driven to Alaska and he wouldn't have cared. We didn't hear a word from him until about an hour in when he took off his headphones and said, "Brother, this is the part where Fwosty melts because he gets warm and I can't hear it because you are scweaming." The logic did not phase Hudson and his calm rationality made me want to snatch those headphones off his head and put them on my bleeding ears. Needless to say, my patience was worn thin especially when Matt wanted to stop at every gas station that had a sign in the window that said Fresh Fudge, Free Samples. There is officially nothing worse than trying to shove gas station fudge into your baby's mouth in a pathetic attempt to get him to stop crying.

We finally made it after what felt like days on the road. The boys had a blast at the party and we were so happy to be a part of Eliza's big day. But the whole time one thought was at the back of our minds....the ride home. We stuck with our original plan of night driving and just prayed that he would be so exhausted from the hard partying and saying hi and bye to 1000 people that he would be able to handle it and his mother wouldn't have to throw him out the car window. Thank goodness it was better, he was flat out exhausted and fell asleep right away. We took advantage and hauled it out of Houston at illegal speeds. We felt like we were in a getaway car, but by God nothing was going to stop us while that baby was asleep.

We got home safe and sound and dumped the boys in bed, then Matt and I just sat in our living room in a daze. I stood up to go upstairs and much like Scarlett O'Hara holding up her turnips, I clutched Matt's bag of fudge to my chest and announced, "With God as my witness I will never road trip with my toddler again!" Matt didn't really appreciate the reference but it made me feel empowered and I will take whatever I can get:)

Delectable Fish Lips

Yesterday was supposed to be Connor's second and final attempt at his sedated dental appointment. No such luck. At our previous attempt I learned that my kid is a funny, sloppy drunk. At the first appointment, once the meds kicked in, he accused a tiny girl baby in the waiting room of being his brother and kept complimenting "new Hudson" on his beautiful purple shirt, giggling like a mad man. "New Hudson's" mother was not so amused. Alas, that appointment was a bust so yesterday we went to a new dentist to try again.
He had his "special" juice and 30 minutes later the overly affectionate case of the sillies set in. His first victim: the giant fish tank in the middle of the waiting room. He was amazed by the "most beautiful, gorgeous fish" he had ever seen. He kissed the tank repeatedly and open mouthed. But was that enough? Nope. He then begged me to hoist him up and dangle him over this six foot tall tank so he could catch a fish with his bare hands and then kiss it on it's "delectable fish lips." Yes, this is a direct quote, shout out to Nick Jr. for teaching us that new word. When he realized that he wasn't going to get any reciprocal affection from the tank, he turned the silly love on me. Every other minute I heard, "I love you Mommy, let me kiss you." Sweet. For a while. Please keep in mind that this was a shockingly busy dentist's office. I started to feel slightly uncomfortable when Connor demanded loudly that our kisses last "forever." It was like he was literally glued to my lips, the cheek was absolutely unacceptable. Slightly awkward for the casual observer, I'm sure.
After all that the only real result we got from the silly juice was this silly story. When it came down to it, the medicine was incapable of actually sedating him enough for any real work to be done. So onward and upward we press, I can't even imagine how my little under the influence cassanova will react at our next appointment.

Because that's the way God made it.

I was talking with a friend this morning after church and she was telling me how she was in an awkward conversation with her four year old about why girls and boys have different parts. He really sprung this on her and she said she just didn't know what to say. I do.
"Because that's the way God made us."
Now, I also shared with her that my husband has requested that I lay off of using this answer, because apparently I do it a lot. I know that the day is coming when my child will officially be smarter than me and I am prepared to accept that. There is tons of stuff I don't know and Connor is the king of endless questioning. Why is the sky blue? Why do I have two arms? Why is dirt dirty? Frankly, I have no idea, so I tell him, "Because that is the way God made it." Is it a total cop out answer, yes. Am I ashamed of it, no. Right now it works and I would like to keep up the facade that his mother is a genius for as many years as possible.
It is really bothering Matt though. He has visions of Connor sitting down for his medical board exams and in response to some open ended medical question writing, "Because that's the way God made it." Somehow he doesn't think that is going to inspire confidence in a doctor.
The other night, Connor comes in and asks me, "Mom, why does a volcano get hot?" Um, I don't know. So I gave him my standard answer and his father freaked out. Two hours later they have googled, discussed thoroughly, created some sort of powerpoint and are in the midst of a "volcano experiment" involving exploding a can of Diet Dr. Pepper in my bathtub. Now Connor can explain molten lava and gasses to you to an annoying degree. I earned two uninteruppted hours of TV time. I ask you, who is the smartest now?

Cougar Town

As my boys get older, I know they will start to pull away from Mom some. Dad is the hero, the cool guy. I guess that is normal. I am no expert on guy stuff and Matt is the real deal. I get it, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I love that I have Momma's boys, even if it is only for a few fleeting years. Connor is like a sponge and Matt finds it hilarious to teach him things that Mom never would. Luckily for now, Hudson is still mine.
Here is an incident involving Matt and his mini-Matt: Matt and I came in separate cars to Connor's last soccer game a few weeks back. Connor and Matt left in his truck and Hudsy and I went in my car. As we approached a red light, I changed lanes to get right next to the "man truck" certain that they would be happy to see me. Well, they were prepared. I rolled down my window and said, "Hey guys! Lookin' good!" I saw Matt lean over and whisper to Connor. Then my son said the following to me, "Hi, nice to meet you, but you're too old for me." Stunned, I opened my mouth to speak, but he wasn't done yet. "Listen, let's not make this awkward, I'm way out of your league. No, I don't want to be friends, just let it go." Then he put his elmo sunglasses on and they drove off.
What?!? Several questions raced through my mind. 1. How long have they been working up this little routine? The memorization was perfect. Is my child some sort of genius? And 2.Did my three year old just call me out as a cougar? I think so.
I am blogging about this incident first and foremost because it was a great moment in Matt's life. Notice I did not say a high point in his parenting career, but a great moment nonetheless. He has lived on this small victory over me for several weeks now and he deserves the credit. The time and effort put into this prank is quite impressive.
So here is your moment, Honey. Live it up!

Our Poky Little Puppy

Well Hudson survived his second Halloween. Last year, he was just a little guy so we weren't sure what to expect from him this year since he is walking and doing his own thing a little bit more. He didn't disappoint!

My little man apparentely has a love of candy like I have never seen before in a child. He couldn't quite get with the trick or treating program. Instead of putting his candy in his bag at each door, he felt the need to sit down on that stranger's front porch and eat until it was gone. Then he was ready for the next house. Needless to say, this really slowed down our travel time. His big brother and cousin hit the ground running, with a goal of raking in as much candy as possible. Not my little fire dog. He was definitely the poky puppy.

He got into quite the routine, hit a house, look adorable, get candy, sit and eat. His precious, pottery barn kids white dalmation suit was soon covered in chocolate drool. Every photo we have features Hudson with a mouth full of candy with back ups clutched in each fist. At one house, someone dared to hand out pencils, Hudson immediately tasted it and threw it down with a look of disgust. We are not interested in eating pencils.

You might be wondering what kind of reaction the little guy had to all this sugar. Some of you might be familiar with Hudson's regimented sleeping schedule. He averages about 16 hours a day with a strict 7 p.m. bedtime. Not on Halloween! He arrived back at his Gammie's house hopped up on candy, walked straight to the portable cd player by the door and turned on Monster Mash. He proceeded to host what I like to refer to as Hudson's dance party. As soon as the song ended he immediately hit repeat and danced like a mad man, all by himself. He clapped and twirled himself into a frenzy. Finally, he collapsed in exhaustion, wild eyed, sweaty and covered in candy residue.

Now that is a good time.

Halloween and my invisible son Kenny

Okay, since today is Halloween I thought I would blog about Connor! Today is the highlight of his year, a day to actually celebrate his giant imagination!
When I was pregnant with Connor, I felt like I endlessly researched, studied and thought about what it might be like to be a mom. I knew there would be a lot of learning as we went, but I truly thought I had an idea of what was coming when our little man arrived.
I was wrong.
I can lovingly say that my son is "different". I always thought it was cute and funny when kids had a big imagination, I just never imagined living with one. It has been a huge learning experience for Matt and I. We are not really the artsy, imaginative types. As I mentioned earlier, I like research. I like black and white, not shades of grey. Connor is one hilarious, creative shade of grey. We honestly did not know at first, he just seemed like a regular baby.
My child has the ability to find joy in absolutely everything in this world. Everything. I will admit here that I am jealous of this, he sees the world in a way that I never have. For those of you that follow my status updates on Facebook, you can agree that the things that come out of his mouth on a daily basis are hilarious and always surprising.
I do not think I will ever forget the day my invisible son Kenny arrived at our house. Connor was supposed to be getting his pj's on but was instead illegally jumping on our bed. I rounded the corner and heard him say,"quick, Kenny, here comes my Mom!" Kenny is a quiet fellow and we sometimes go weeks without a word from him. It should be a testament to how far outside the box I have come that I find myself checking in on him sometimes just to make sure he is okay. You know, just asking Connor how he is and if his part time job at the donut shop is going well. Matt likes to act like I am crazy, but I have heard him do it too.
Kenny is a part of our lives now, I will be sad if he goes away for good. But in the meantime he is a source of entertainment for our family! Last Saturday we went to our church carnival. As Matt pulled into the parking lot, I heard Connor say, "Okay Kenny, we're here. I am going to get out and play and you are going to stay in the car and read the Bible." I turned around and sure enough Connor was buckling a seat belt around his friend and handing him his Bible that he had snuck out of our house."
Kenny doesn't always get to have a good time :)

Check back soon for news about Halloween and Hudson't first professional modeling shoot!

My first blog post

Okay, so several people have been after me for a while now to start a blog. Apparently some people are interested in the goings on of my little family. I have put it off because we seem endlessly busy and why would I ever want to add one more thing to my plate, right? It took a trip to our neighborhood Super Target to finally convince me to actually start blogging. Connor and I got out of the car and started walking in, usually he has to be reminded 20 times to hold my hand in a parking lot. But this time as soon as I opened my mouth to say the words, I felt his little hand slip into mine. That moment really struck me, the way his hand fit so perfectly into my own and I thought, I hope I always remember these tiny moments forever. I know I won't so I am going to start recording them here, the good, the bad and the funny.
I was so overwhelmed with love for my child in the parking lot of Super Target that tears filled my eyes and I had to tell him how much I loved him right then and there. He told me that he loved me more than anything and I melted. We continued through the parking lot and as we entered the automatic doors, he announced at the top of his lungs, "Mommy, can we buy you new underwear here at Target? I think they will have your size!"
And that about sums it up.