But not on this particular day, I went to bed the night before thinking about a friend who is very dear to me and who is hurting. She has been on a journey for several years now, hoping to find her way into motherhood. This journey has been rough and slow. Something that is natural and easy for a lot of people is not for her and as her friend there is nothing I can do to make that better.
She got good news a few weeks ago and we rejoiced thinking that this was finally the baby she and her husband have been praying for. They found out last week though that it wasn't going to be and that their tiny little one had not made it. My heart is broken for her and it is so hard to understand when I know she would be the most wonderful mother. I am struggling to be the best friend I can be to her, when I don't have the words to comfort her and I certainly don't have answers.
Which now brings me to that song in my head that early morning. It is an old favorite of mine, Blessed be your name, by Matt Redman. It is a song that I have heard countless times but on this particular morning the lyrics stood out to me like a neon sign. The chorus says, "You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." It really struck me, why this particular song was in my head and what it was truly saying. My sweet friend, throughout this horrible and painful journey that has been full of frustration and disappointment has never stopped praising His name. She has had something she desperately wanted taken away, again. But she has shown patience and grace in a way that I don't think I ever could and she hasn't ever stopped leaning on God to get them through. She is a wonderful example to me of taking a situation that could have easily made her lash out at God and doubt his grace and yet she is still praising his name.
I wish that this week, this month, this year had gone differently for her but I know (thanks to her example) that God has a plan for her and I believe that plan includes a baby. But in the meantime I hope she knows that her struggles and pain are not in vain. She is a walking testimony to putting her faith in exactly the right place and I am lucky to have her as a friend.