KingPin

As I have known Matt since we were 11 years old, I thought I pretty much knew all there was to know about him. By the time we finally got married, I thought I knew what I was getting into. Not to say the mystery was gone, but...the mystery was gone. Or so I thought.

We spent the four years prior to our marriage in different cities, me in Waco and Matt in Dallas. I graduated on a lovely Saturday in May, then four Saturdays later was meeting Matt at the altar. After a fantabulous honeymoon we came home and I settled in to the apartment Matt was already leasing. Eight months later, our lease was up and we bought a house. So far, so good right? Well it was during the packing of said apartment that I made a shocking discovery.

Matt Hill owned his own bowling ball. It was kept hidden away in a closet in it's own fancy bag, along with a single fingerless glove.

This discovery really shook me up. I mean, it was as if I didn't know him at all! Who marries someone without knowing that they own their own bowling ball? Surely that would rank as a discussion point in premarital counseling. So I waited for him to get home and then confronted him. I have to say he was a smidge defensive, possibly because I demanded to know all the sordid details concerning this ridiculous ball. When had he been so into bowling? Was he in some sort of secret league?

The truth wasn't quite so interesting. He said that much like skateboarding and puffy hair, it was a phase. He even bragged that at one point in high school he could even bowl his weight. Which, once I thought about it, wasn't quite so impressive, it wasn't as if he weighed 300 pounds. Plus, I am pretty sure I could bowl my age without breaking a sweat if I had to. All that did still not explain why he felt the need to purchase his own ball during this fleeting phase of life. He really tried to downplay this lameness and said it was a gift, but that is not how I picture it. I imagine him at Showplace Lanes at the tender age of 15, bowling that perfect, weight equalling score of 135. He was undoubtedly so jubilant in his win that he reacted in much the same way as Julia Roberts in her Oscar win for Erin Brokovich, where she purchased the vintage Versace gown she wore to the ceremony as a keepsake. I picture my future husband rushing to the Pro Shop to buy that lucky ball along with a fingerless glove thrown in for good measure. Or something like that :)

So why bring all this up now? Well, for the first time in our long history, Matt and I will be bowling together this Friday night! The infamous ball has sadly disappeared over the years (it's probably hanging out in the east wing of the manse), but I am totally expecting Matt to bring his A game. I myself have been enduring a strict training regiment consisting of Wii bowling and using a bowling/skeeball app on my iphone (I've earned 3100 arcade tickets). I also have a pair of pink knit gloves that are a fingerless/mitten combo, which might or might not be making an appearance.

But after all the smack talk has died down, I say there are no winners or losers in this marital showdown, just two epically dorky people who will probably be relegated to the bumper bowling lane :)