This week I officially enrolled Connor in "big boy school" for next year. On Ms. Karen's recommendation we looked around for a place that we hoped would challenge him and keep him from getting too bored while waiting around for kindergarten. This was hard for me. I love having my boys at Ms. Karen's and I am constantly amazed by how much they are learning. I also trust her judgement and respect her opinions, so when she said she thought he would benefit from a more challenging environment, I had to admit she was right, although my first impulse was to cling to her and beg her not to make us leave :) Ever.
It all fell into place though, and we found a great little private school where he can go four days a week and then back to Karen's on the fifth. Connor could not be more excited and I could not be more worried. He is thrilled that he gets to take his lunch every day in a real lunch box and carry a backpack that he hopes will be full of homework. He has never seen a cooler classroom or so many "beautiful computers" all in one place. I know my intelligent, self-motivating first born is going to love learning there. So what is my problem?
I have over thought this entire situation and come up with my list of top worries. I worry that his hyper competitiveness is going to kick into overdrive because now instead of one or two kids to compete with, he will have fourteen to compare himself to. I'm worried that the other kids are going to think he is kind of weird because more often than not, his stories at the playground center around the meanness of Pharoah or the awesomeness of the earthquake that freed Paul and Silas from prison (complete with body convulsions to show what he thought it felt like). I am afraid the other four year olds might not think Connor the Evangelist is quite as cool as his Dad and I do.
I worry that he will be too arrogant (he is the best and most amazing person he has ever seen at anything and everything he has ever attempted) and I worry that he will be too hard on himself. Most of all I think I am worried that my craziness is going to make him feel crazy. I am sure he will be showing this blog to his therapist one day :)
My little fish is moving into a bigger pond on his way to the ocean that is kindergarten. I just thank God that he is "most definitely the awesomest swimmer I have ever seen in this whole entire world, Mom."
He'll be ready and as for me, well, I'll get there too.
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