Woman hits ninja with car

Sunday night after Awanas, I called Matt to tell him that we were on the way home and asked him if he wanted to go to the grocery store with us. Actually I believe the way I phrased it was, "Hi honey. Either you go to the grocery store with us or I am leaving these kids at home with you." But I said it in a really sweet voice. Here is what he said in response and believe me this is a word for word quote. I remember it exactly because it was so bizarre. "Sure, I'll go to the store with you. In fact, I think I am going to start running there, just pick me up along the way. Okay?"

Silence. Then I started laughing. Because obviously it was a joke. Then feelings got hurt. "Thanks a lot Melissa, I am completely capable of jogging to the store." Yes, I am sure he is capable, but why would he? It wasn't like there was something wrong with our car. But none the less, after a few quick words about his general direction and pacing, he said he was off and that I was supposed to drive until I saw him and then pick him up. Riiiiight. We don't live very far from our church so as soon as I crossed into Rowlett and neared our house I started looking for him. I should probably mention at this point in the story that it was now dark outside. Still no Matt. So the boys decided to roll down the windows and assist in our search on Miller Road by yelling for their daddy out the window. But their attention span is short so after about thirty seconds Hudson started singing his theme song, "Toot toot chugga big red car" and Connor starting howling at the moon. Literally. So now we were driving slow enough to look creepy down a fairly busy road with a two and four year old singing and howling at the moon while looking for our suddenly spontaneously jogging father. It was weird. Two jogger false alarms later (which really got those people's heart rates up, especially when I honked) we still hadn't found him and frankly I was torn between two emotions. The first being worry, because let's face it I didn't think he had it in him and the second a growing sense of admiration because again, I didn't think he had it in him. I finally turned onto Dexham road (along his predefined route) and slowed to about two miles an hour. I still did not see him anywhere and was quickly moving into my third emotion, irritation bordering on anger. All of a sudden, something banged on the passenger side window, scaring the pee out of me. I looked over and there was my husband jogging next to our car. I slammed on the brakes and he jumped in. The first words out of his mouth were, "What took you so long, I have been running forever!" The first words out of my mouth were, "Why in the world are you dressed like a ninja?" Seriously, he was wearing a navy blue long sleeved shirt, dark blue shorts, a hat and dark shoes. He might as well have put a blinking neon sign on his back that said, "Please hit me with your car." I told him I didn't even see him until he turned his head and I saw the whites of his eyes. It was ridiculous.

So....Matt is on a new exercise kick and I am off to the store to buy him some stick on reflectors like they put on bicycles. I don't want anyone of you to have to wake up to the headline, "Woman hits spontaneously jogging husband with car while he runs to the grocery store even though they have two working cars." Or something like that. I don't want my kids to have to visit me in the big house.